warning

Advanced Relationship Skills

Couples - Families - Singles - Seniors

From
W. Shuford Davis, Ph.D

Warning Signs Your Spouse is Having an Affair

Mood changes: Emotional distancing by withdrawal or aggression. Spouse is edgy and defensive when asked, “What’s wrong?”

Changes in personal schedule with long times away with elusive explanations or with plausible explanations that still give you the feeling, “Something is not right!”

Unusual attention to appearance such as weight loss, new wardrobe specifically including sexy undies.

Trips all alone. The excuses can be “I need time to myself”; “going to visit an old friend”; or “it’s an extra work trip”. These have to be unusual with no previous history, particularly as it relates to work.

Follow the money. Check for unexplained, unusual charges on credit cards, withdrawals from accounts, and cash advances.

Pay attention to vague or specific comments about being unhappy, restless, not fulfilled.

Sex: This can be a mixed picture. Sometimes there are complaints about your sex life. Sometimes sex stops altogether. Sometimes the sex life increases and improves so that when the affair comes out it’s all the more dumbfounding.

Lies or illogical explanations of obvious tip-offs that the affair is occurring.

Continued denial of the affair in the face of clear evidence it is happening., i.e., an address, phone call, e-mail, credit card statement, note, card, gift, receipt, etc.